Let's begin by hewing off the edges and defining my reviews by recognizing what they are not:
Current - I review media as I ingest it, not as it is released. Currency may occur. It will be coincidental.
Numeric - I will not give anything a score. This isn't some protest against hierarchy, but recognition that the content of my review is the score. I'm not an industry mag. My goal may be exposure, but not sales.
Comprehensive - I am not out to read and play everything. I'm just sharing my thoughts on the things I do. Similarly, I am putting as much effort into each review as I feel like. Sometimes I will gush. Sometimes I will give you two paragraphs. Or two sentences. Sometimes I will analyze a piece of art like I'm writing a term paper. Other times I will say that it is "neat."
Singular - I might review the same thing more than once, or more than one thing at a time. The former will happen a lot with games, as I might opine differently after more play, (you are never truly finished playing a game). The latter will happen more commonly with movies and books.
As for what they are, my reviews are meant to be useful or interesting. I'm not trying to sell you a game or a book, but I'm hoping my thoughts on the matter might better inform you. Personal tastes will vary. I will try to frame things with comparisons so that I am easier to interpret. I will always balance fun and entertainment with mechanics and form. I will recognize the value of both novelty and chaos, and of discipline and execution. I will not be fair. Instead I will be honest.